On having a child /The Trauma of Parenthood – NYTimes.com

Parenthood takes its toll on your relationships as well. A 2009 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the transition to parenthood is linked to reduced happiness in the marriage and more negative behavior during spousal conflict. Evidence also demonstrates that this transition is connected to substantial reductions in the size of a parent’s networks of family and friends.This research, which doesn’t even touch on the staggering financial cost of raising a child, provides clear evidence that for many people becoming a parent is one part blessing, one part trauma.Given the ideology of parenting, it’s not surprising that we typically blame biology for the experience of postpartum depression. But the circumstances parents face are often demonstrably miserable. The fact that postpartum depression rates are much higher among the poor than among the wealthy, who can purchase peace of mind through hired child care, supports the idea that the phenomenon is, in most cases, more circumstantial than biological. via The Trauma of Parenthood – NYTimes.com.

To have a child is like having another core in the mind of parents. The core means the center which one must feed essential care to keep it living. The first core we have is the core of oneself. We are now grown-ups, who can care their own core and also give care to the core of their partners. In addition to this, the second core, which means their child, enters their lives and it starts to require its share of care and attention unilaterally. The care and attention, both in quantitiy and quality, differs from one parent to another, mainly due to their social, psychological and financial abilities. So it is imaginable that some parents with few resorces find it difficult to cope with the situation of two cores to care. To have a child is not all about joy and happiness. It can reduce happiness and well-being of your life if not prepared enough socially, psychologically and financially.

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