On having a child /The Trauma of Parenthood – NYTimes.com

Parenthood takes its toll on your relationships as well. A 2009 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the transition to parenthood is linked to reduced happiness in the marriage and more negative behavior during spousal conflict. Evidence also demonstrates that this transition is connected to substantial reductions in the size of a parent’s networks of family and friends.This research, which doesn’t even touch on the staggering financial cost of raising a child, provides clear evidence that for many people becoming a parent is one part blessing, one part trauma.Given the ideology of parenting, it’s not surprising that we typically blame biology for the experience of postpartum depression. But the circumstances parents face are often demonstrably miserable. The fact that postpartum depression rates are much higher among the poor than among the wealthy, who can purchase peace of mind through hired child care, supports the idea that the phenomenon is, in most cases, more circumstantial than biological. via The Trauma of Parenthood – NYTimes.com.

To have a child is like having another core in the mind of parents. The core means the center which one must feed essential care to keep it living. The first core we have is the core of oneself. We are now grown-ups, who can care their own core and also give care to the core of their partners. In addition to this, the second core, which means their child, enters their lives and it starts to require its share of care and attention unilaterally. The care and attention, both in quantitiy and quality, differs from one parent to another, mainly due to their social, psychological and financial abilities. So it is imaginable that some parents with few resorces find it difficult to cope with the situation of two cores to care. To have a child is not all about joy and happiness. It can reduce happiness and well-being of your life if not prepared enough socially, psychologically and financially.

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Avoiding incrementalism and utilizing ‘hook’ of essential terms

Mr. Klein, hoping to avoid incrementalism — “the biggest source of waste is everything the journalist has written before today,” he said — instead wants his journalists responsible for constantly updating pages that are the ultimate resource on a topic.

“It would be like a wiki page written by one person with a little attitude,” Ms. Bell explained.

To help accomplish this, the developers have been building a tool they call the card stack. The cards, trimmed in brilliant canary yellow, contain definitions of essential terms that a reader can turn to if they require more context. For example, a story updating the battle over the Affordable Care Act might include cards explaining the term “insurance exchange.”

Vox Takes Melding of Journalism and Technology to a New Level – NYTimes.com

Avoiding incrementalism will be especially important for every journalism website. We have seen the issues caused by the incrementalism of endless articles. I find many Japanese news websites not able to display well the mass of articles they issue daily, and their url of articles are often lost forever after some time because their content management system couldn’t maintain them.

Utilizing the hook of essential terms as VOX does is what will come after the endless incrementalism. It works as a reference point for each single articles where readers always turn to and we can observe visually how our wisdom accumulates.

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Finding peace in mind

It often happens that we don’t realize what is going on in our own mind, or true feelings.

Just as my parents were always looking for ways, however ludicrous, to wake my brother, I find that I am constantly on the lookout for ways to keep my mind quiet, so that I might live and work in peace. Recently, I read an interview of an actor who said that when he needs to change his behavior toward someone, he merely thinks, “I love you, I love you,” as he is talking to the person.

I called my parents a few weeks ago on the second anniversary of my brother’s death. My father began telling me that he felt abandoned by my brother, that my brother’s dying feels like him leaving us. As he spoke, I started thinking: I love you. I love you. My usual response at this point would have been to tell my father that he needed to focus on the future, that what was past was past. Instead I told my father that he was wonderful, that he should think of how brave he had been to take care of his poor sick son for all those years, that his devotion had been heroic.

However odd my reasons may seem, I am glad that I said this.

Noticing the true feelings and, in this case, choosing the words which should be uttered accurately on a specific occasion are a key to overcome the stalling of mind and attain peace in mind. And as the author says, wishing others peace and finding the best words to embody that feelings  are essentially important for keeping your connectivity with the world healthy. This is the basic benefit of altruism in mind.

 

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